


Explosion

by StarsAndUniverses



Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Improper Scientific Method, Scientist Dispute, Table throwing, like seriously shockwave is so BAD, starscream and shockwave are friends exactly never
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:14:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24834412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarsAndUniverses/pseuds/StarsAndUniverses
Summary: Shockwave. An emotionless being. A practical paragon of Decepticon loyalty. A stoic cyclops, unaffected by personal relationships.Until he's, you know, not.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 39





	1. The Meeting

“Lord Megatron, I assure you that I am more than capable of defending myself at Outpost Delta-7. I already have multiple prototypes of base defense systems constructed and I believe I can have them finalized by the end of the solar cycle.”

“Shockwave,” Megatron sighed for what felt like the millionth time in the past joor, “I do not doubt your inventiveness  _ or _ effectiveness. I am requesting you stay here in the meantime because our soldiers are spread too thin and I will not send my chief scientist to a remote base without any support  _ at all _ .”

“Lord Megatron,” Shockwave began once more, Megatron barely catching himself from putting his face in his hands, “I do not require support. We are both highly aware that I can compensate for a squad of soldiers and with the defense systems online, Delta-7 will have the firepower of an entire squadron. I will be more than well-protected.”

“That’s it!” Starscream pushed himself out of his chair, slamming his hands on the table, “These tactical meetings are as boring as the grounder-friendly sections of Vos and  _ you _ -” an accusing finger nearly hitting Shockwave’s optic, “-have made it completely insufferable!” 

“Starscream: Sit down,” Soundwave insisted loudly, sounding surprisingly tired despite his stoic cadence. His voice was not, however, loud enough to muffle the desperate scraping of attempted transformations from inside his cassette deck.

“Are we really all going to pretend that this isn’t entirely because of Shockwave’s ego?” Starscream screeched, as he does, actually poking the cyclops’ optic this time. 

“Pardon?”

“Oh, don’t give me that, you overgrown grape! Even without a face, you are an incompetent liar!” 

“I have not said anything that is not factual during this meeting,” Shockwave recited stiffly, his body locked at the joints. 

“Oh, so you’re telling me this has absolutely nothing to do with last orn’s raids?”

Shockwave paused, considering his next words carefully, “It is related in the fact that it highlighted many weaknesses in our current procedures.”

Megatron finally broke, placing his hands on the table in an exaggeratedly gentle fashion, “Shockwave. I understand that you may be feeling responsible for the resources we have lost, but you are not being looked down upon for being unable to defend the outpost. You do not have to prove your capability to anyone.”

Awkward silence stretched out as Shockwave seemed to process the information at 2 bits per second. Rumble and Frenzy’s muffled pleas for release, full of expletives and insults to their carrier’s interfacing habits, could now be clearly heard by all of Decepticon High Command. In a remarkable display of unmitigated emotion, Soundwave slumped in his chair and solidly placed his forehead on the table.

“Lord Megatron, this has nothing to do wit-”

“You feel like a dumbaft for getting captured and tied up and left in a fragging supply closet for a couple cycles, we get it! As air commander and head tactician, I say, go ahead and go back! Go back to that slagged outpost and get into a fight with the Autobots and get your aft whooped all over again! After all, Skywarp can get you out of wherever they stuff you next!” 

“I will not be suffering that sort of disgrace again, for your information! If you were any sort of decent tactician, you would know that!” 

Megatron’s words died in his mouth the moment Shockwave took the bait. Soundwave, equally as aware that any altercation involving Starscream would be destructive at best, rose his head and began to speak, but an airborne datapad narrowly missing his face discouraged him from any further action. 

“Your alt mode is a gun! Your arm is a gun! You carry a gun! You have three guns and you still got overpowered by a measly scout?”

“A scout that is a Special Operations operative and has previously infiltrated the Nemesis solo! Any one of us would have been at a disadvantage!” 

“No, we wouldn’t have, because we don’t rely solely on our weapons to fight. We actually train and learn basic fighting tactics instead of standing in a lab all day and staring at numbers!”

“I am combat trained!”

“No, you are not, you never  _ once _ went to the combat seminars, not even in the beginning of the war!”

“I refuse to learn underhanded street brawl tactics from the Decepticon’s most famous traitor!”

“I graduated top of my class at the fragging Vosnian  _ WAR ACADEMY!”  _

“Likely due to academic dishonesty!” 

“How do you cheat at a spar?”

“You would know!” 

Starscream suddenly put down the stack of datapad ammunition he had accrued, settling his face into a tempered, stoic stare. “You know what? You always have been a pitiful excuse for a scientist.”

Shockwave’s gasp sounded reminiscent of an offended high school mean girl.

“How dare you insult my scientific method?”

Standing up straighter and coolly clasping his hands behind his wings, Starscream continued, “What method? You do not have a method. Your so-called experiments are an absolute bastardization of the true scientific process, not even loosely following proper procedure. You are unable to form trials due to untestable predictions.”

“I have completed an incredible amount of proper research for the Decepticon cause!”

“Your results are a biased sham based on qualitative data that you arbitrarily assign values to. Also, your conclusions have consistently shown to be isolated events that cannot be used to infer or extrapolate any general theories or trends.”

Shockwave seethed in anger, his vents blasting at full speed as he murderously glared at Starscream. 

“Alright, meeting adjourned, let me escort you back to your lab, Shockwave,” Megatron ushered him out the door before another argument broke out.

“Oh, Shockwave! One more thing?” Starscream called just as Shockwave had left the threshold of the room.

“Your research notes are atrocious.” 

The following orn was filled with a lot of damage control on behalf of Megatron and Soundwave. Shockwave was a powerful symbol of unemotional dedication along with Soundwave and news of the brawl could not leak into the lower ranks in case of any Autobot infiltration.

However, as Mirage clearly pointed out in the video he shared with Spec Ops, Shockwave had  _ absolutely _ thrown the first punch  _ and _ the table.


	2. The Aftermath

When Mirage ran into the meeting shouting about how he had juicy info, Jazz was only mildly interested. After all, the mech had been high class and a lot of pretty basic things seemed to surprise him, war related or not. Along with the fact that any high class mech was a ruthless gossip, Jazz had been expecting news about a new couple on the Nemesis that fragged in the public washracks. Something along those lines. 

Mirage loaded the video file of the Con’s high command meeting and skipped the _entire_ thing, fast forwarding right to the very end. Right over all the strategy holograms and all of Starscream’s rants - which was the usual entertainment for Spec Ops and a personal favorite of Mirage’s. Alright, he’d bite. 

“So, Mirage, what exactly is it that’s got you so excited?” Jazz leaned back in his seat, chuckling to himself. 

“Yeah, I haven’t seen you this excited since Perceptor found out how to make artisan Energon jellies,” Bee spoke up, sitting on the table like he always did.

“And Primus bless him for that, but this is on another level! Shockwave went _ballistic_ ! And I don’t mean the silent, glaring Soundwave cold shoulder type, I mean full on Megatron temper tantrum! He fought with _Starscream_!” 

“No way,” Bee stood to grab Mirage’s face, “Look me in the optics, don’t you dare lie to me!” 

“I’m not, not at all! He got to fists with Screamer!” 

Before Bee could interrupt Mirage again, Jazz stood up and snapped at Mirage, “Well, then, load the fragging video already! This, I gotta see!” 

The audio crackled as Mirage abruptly pressed play. 

_“//-aft for getting captured and tied up and left in a fragging supply closet for a couple cycles, we get it!//”_

Bee pumped a fist in the air, “Still proud of that one!” Jazz would’ve paid to be there in person.

“Shut up, shut up, this is the part!” Mirage was practically vibrating in his seat.

“//Oh, Shockwave!. One more thing? Your research notes are atrocious.//”

A beat. Then pandemonium. 

* * *

“Oh, Prowl, you should’ve seen it! Shockwave ripped right out of Meg’s arms and socked Starscream right in the dentae!” Jazz mimed out a punch at the wall in slow motion, complete with the _pow!_ sound effect. 

“So you’ve been telling me all afternoon,” Prowl deadpanned, pretending that he hadn’t immediately stopped working to hear the story for the fifteenth time. 

“An-and then Shockwave took a step back,” Jazz ran to the end of the table and mimed flipping it, “And he threw the table at him like that! And Soundwave had his head on the table so obviously, he got smacked right in the visor!” 

“And then his cassettes popped out?”

Jazz jumped and squealed, “And then they popped out! Soundwave totally wiped out and Rumble and Frenzy popped out and started screaming ‘Fight, fight, fight!’ and Megatron had his face like _this_! Like-like-” 

“Like when Sunstreaker’s paint gets scratched?”

Jazz jumped at the wall and kicked off it in his excitement, “Exactly! And Skywarp warped out of his chair with Thundercracker and that’s when Shockwave saw and he _picked up_ the chair and did a sorta spin thing and he _threw it_ right at Starscream’s face!” 

“I still can’t believe Shockwave blew up like that,” Prowl shook his head, allowing himself a short laugh, “Although, I see Starscream’s point.” 

“And that’s the best part! Once Screamer realized what was going on, he totally _creamed_ Shockwave! He even threw in lines about how ol’ One-Eye couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag!” 

“Show me the screen capture again, please.” 

Jazz pulled up a picture of Starscream triumphantly sitting on a chair trapping Shockwave to the ground. It was placed just so that Shockwave’s impressive bosom was trapped between the four chair legs, as well as taking the whole weight of the preening seeker. Try as he might to claw or kick at his captor, Shockwave’s arms and legs just couldn’t reach. 

Prowl smiled to himself, sending a comm to Optimus about updating the next Ark-wide presentation. He smiled at Jazz, who was still jumping around and laughing hysterically. 

“Jazz, I’m going to include this in the command meeting tomorrow.” 

New cries of laughter filled the hallway, soon replaced by overjoyed wheezing.

**Author's Note:**

> I have personal beef with this disregard of the scientific method. Shockwave says something like, "Ah, I wanna know which weapon is most effective!" and then tests them all in completely different conditions with no control group and thinks he's doing science like,,,, n o o , you are N O T


End file.
